HOW TO BUILD A GOOD MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIP

 

What is marriage?

Marriage is a consensual and binding relationship between a man and a woman, to live and work together for the purpose of fulfilling God’s plan for their lives. It is a covenant agreement to build up one another, protect and preserve one another, cover one another’s nakedness, and love one another for as long as they both shall live. Marriage is an oath to God that we shall work together to heal one another’s wound, as well as ensure that the bent parts of our personalities are straightened.

What is a family?                                                

A family in simple definition can mean a man, his wife, and their children. In a broader sense, it can include the entire household, and the extended relations. A family can also be described as a group of people with a common heritage. A family is a place where the creative talents of its members are nurtured. A family therefore is the birthplace of creativity, the foundation for human interaction, a shelter in times of storm, an economic unit, an educational control room, and a museum of memories. Indeed, there are many adjectives to describe the family.

What is relationship?

It is the state of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually connected; a mutual and symbiotic sharing of life and activities for the common good. People from all races and backgrounds enjoy this connectedness in the family setting, in workplaces, in church or fellowship groups, as well as other social environments.

Now, how can we nurture our marriage and family setting to the degree where we can start to enjoy a mutually fulfilling and beneficial connectedness? What do we need to do, especially in situations where the storms of life are continually destabilizing marriages and homes? How can we build or restore the fragrance in our marriage and family lives?

In Paul’s letter to the saints in Ephesus, he wrote in Eph.5:33 to 6:4,10,

“Nevertheless, let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise. That it may be well with thee, and thou may live long on the earth. And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord………….Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.”

A close study and meditation of these Pauline scriptures shows us exactly what we need to do. Let me break it down for clarity sake.

(1)   There are specific and unique roles God has assigned to every member of the family unit. And each member must endeavor to fulfill his or her part in order for the marriage and family unit to experience joy and harmony.

 

(a)   The husband must express unconditional love to his wife and children; a sacrificial love that is anchored on Godly principles and values. He must also provide physical, emotional, and spiritual leadership whenever necessary. He also has the responsibility to provide the needs of his household. As the leader of the home, his ultimate desire must continually be for the greater good of the union and home. He is the role model for his children.

 

(b)   The woman’s duty is to honor, reverence, and respect her husband, as well as effectively and efficiently manage the resources of the family. She should be her husband’s number one cheerleader; motivating him to actualize God’s purpose for their lives. She should study her husband in order to know how to manage his ego, as well as provide quality companionship to him, especially in times of stress. A good woman builds her home.

 

(c)    The children’s place is to obey their parents at all times. This is an unconditional obedience. To every child that fulfills this provision, the Lord attaches the blessing of long life. There is no room for selective obedience.

 

(2)   All actions and motives in the marriage and family relationship must be love-driven. In times of blessing and chastisement, love must be the underlying factor. When love leads the way, there is tolerance, patience, kindness, joy, peace, unity, oneness, harmony, and progress. And when these virtues are found in a marriage and family relationship, God’s awesome vision is fulfilled.

 

(3)    The couple should have a family altar in their home. An altar is a place within the apartment; possibly the penthouse, a room, or corner of their living room, where they gather from time to time, to commune with God in prayers, study the Scriptures, meditate on His words, and edify one another spiritually. At the altar, God empowers the faithful couple and their offspring with wisdom and understanding to reign on earth.

 

(4)   Be committed to the effective and proper mentoring of your children. Meticulously study their peculiarities, talents, gifts, and innate skills. Harness their uniqueness. Teach them the way of the Lord. Encourage them to be the best they can ever be. Be there for your children at all times. Experience has shown that when a child discerns the genuine love of the parent, his love and obedience flows naturally.

 

(5)   Finally, be strong and trust God at all times. No matter the power of the tidal wave of life, God is supreme. He is the complete strength in the hour of need. When you anchor your faith on him, the power of failure is broken. If you love Him and follow his ways, your marriage and family relationship will be edified for good. God bless you exceedingly as you follow through.